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Winning Stories
City
Slickers
A
30-45 MARKERS DAY was recently held at one of
the local sand-scrape courses.
3
Girls who had never played on sand-scrapes before
ended up playing together. They all went out
quite confident that they knew what to do, after
listening intently on what was expected of all
players and the state in which they should leave
the scrape for the following group. i.e One
smooth rake around the hole and two rough scrapes
around this. Yes, all understood. However these
girls were having great difficulty in getting
their balls to the hole, as they seemed to be
wandering all over the place. Stableford points
were hard to come by and they were not having
a good day.
After
playing the first 9 holes, they came across
a gentleman who had generously volunteered to
help and scrape for the ladies on the day. “Would
you like me to give you a scrape girls?” the
gentleman asked. After looking at each other
dumbfounded, and not quite knowing what he was
up to, one was heard to say, “Well what
do you mean?”
The
correct procedure was explained and demonstrated
to them. Before putting you mark the position
of your ball, lift it and smooth a path for
the ball to travel to the hole. Needless to
say their scores improved over the next 9 holes.
However one girl was still not impressed, and
went home to whinge to her hubby, that she hadn’t
played on a golf course today, it was just a
farm! She will go back again, though, for the
great country hospitality and superb food.
So
much for the sheltered lives of our City Slickers.
Joye
from the country
One
Up
Recently
played at NSW Golf Club, i'm off a Hcp of 30, where on any par 3 of
the course i couldn't find a green though on a cirtain whole managed
to chip the ball onto the green to sink a 30ft putt which made both
my father (Hcp 5) and 16 year old brother (Hcp 2) choke and then erupt
with laughter for the fact that i made par and they both got a boggie.
First time i've ever beat them both on any hole!!!
Candice
of Campbelltown
Fore
who ?
Having
just read the previous stories I noted one
was about kangaroos. This reminded me of
a funny incident when a group of us was playing
at Eden. One of the players hit his ball
off line towards some roos who were grazing
in the rough. We were all highly amused when
he let out a loud "fore" to let
them know about the approaching ball.
Michelle
from Kings Langley
Travelling
Hole in One
Whilst travelling
overseas recently my husband and I were playing golf with a group of
surgeons from Australia at Spyglass Hill Golf Course, Pebble Beach,
California. Where I got my first hole-in-one on the 5th (called Bird
Rock). I was presented with a flag and certificate. Also the group
I was playing with presented me with a small trophy and memorabilia
from the course. It was a very exciting and memorable occasion.
Carlene
Honeymoon
Golf
I had never played
golf before in my life, my Husband insisted that on our honeymoon in
Ulladulla we play a nine hole round of golf.
My Husband who had
played since he was 12 hit the ball like almost onto the flat green
part, my turn and hit it about 4 metres in front of me. He started
laughing looking at the ground, I looked down and there was this big
chunk taken out of the grass. I felt humiliated but since we paid the
money to play I kept going. In the end my score was pretty good, minus
the 300 that my husband didn't write down.
Since then I have
become a little bit better but still minus about 100 off my score to
keep up with him.
Tanya of
Moruya
Hole in One
I am from Coffs Harbour
and was visiting my sister at Malabar and we decided to play 18 holes
at Randwick Course. Blow me down if I didn't get a hole in one on the
11th. I play off 35 handicap so it was an absolute thrill. Unfortunately
it wasn't in a competition so wasn't acknowledged but it was witnessed
by the group behind us who were in a competition and by some people
across the road who were sitting on their verandah at the time.
Judy of Coffs
Harbour
Lefties
Recently
on ladies day our club played a Pinehurst. As per usual I placed my
name on the time sheet not knowing who would be my partner for the
day. On arriving at the Tee on the day, with the other three players
of the group, i discovered that my partner was a fellow left hander,
and the other pairing were also lefties. None of us knew who we were
partnered with until arrival at the course, so this was not planned.
When we worked out the combined handicaps that we were to play off
as a pair we were both 18. With further discussions we discovered that
we were all natural right handed except for when we had two hands on
the stick. eg sweeping cricket golf raking etc. Ultimatly we challenged
each other to a keno ticket. (we did not win anything) however my partner
and I won the competition of the day. We had a very competitive and
enjoyable day and we all agreed that it was very enjoyable not having
those righties in the way of our swings all day. ha ! ha !
Bruna
of Griffith
Showing
up the boys
I
really want to get to know
more girls/women to play
golf with (that’s how I
came across this site) but
until sofar I mainly play
with the boys.
Three
weeks ago on a Wednesday
night we played the Par
3 Pitch and Putt Course
at Terrey Hills (me and
3 male friends). I was wearing
7 layers of clothing because
of the cold (it was the
middle of July), which was
my excuse of not teeing
off well at all.
Since
then I have found out that
my club head was facing
the wrong way/angle from
the start, but that night
I didn’t realise that yet
and I sliced all my tee
offs really badly (and they
hardly came off in the air!).
There
was a group of 10 guys playing
ahead of us (all in the
same round, they must have
had some time on their hands)
and at around hole 7 they
let us through, all waiting
around the green. That meant
I had 13 pairs of male eyes
watching me tee off – the
pressure! Especially with
100% bad tee offs until
then!
I
don’t know how I did it,
but I pulled off a great
shot and my ball landed
20 cm. near the pin! Applause
followed (and a big smile!).
Several of the group of
10 guys asked me that surely
I must be beating the guys
in my lot. That was not
the case, partly due to
a hole-in-one of one of
my mates on hole 16 (first
time I witnessed one!),
although the main thing
was that I didn’t come in
last, with the honour of
female golfers being at
stake! .
Sietske
from Balmain
A
Brave man
This
is a photo taken outside
Augusta National Golf course
this year. The ladies were
there trying to force the
course to allow lady members.
The man standing at the
back (orange sign) could
be the bravest man ever.
(source unknown)
From
Cynthia a work mate of Carrie
The
Unplayable Lie
We
teamed together for the
club foursomes championships
because I was so new to
golf and my partner was
a thorough gentleman who
played the game for all
the right reasons, ie, not
necessarily to just win.
Sound
like 2 long handicappers
together, darn right we
were! Were we there because
without players there is
no comp, you betcha! I mentioned
that he was a thorough gentleman
and this was always the
case, but, he was just a
little too fond of amber
coloured fluids and one
could never be sure what
condition he would be in
the early mornings.
Came
the day, my first Club Championship
event and we were drawn
to play with a couple who
were considered to be in
the running for The Cup,
they were also always delightful
company on the course. One
look at my partner confirmed
what I had heard of the
night before at the Club
and I knew we were in for
a fun day, I also knew that
I would have to keep my
head down to help prevent
us from coming in with a
record score.
My
partner NEEDED me, he was
not a well man but his condition
would undoubtedly improve
as the day went on. "No
apologies! No paybacks!
Let's have fun and not hold
up play too much!"
At
the end of 9 holes Jim and
I were quite surprised that
we hadn't encountered any
real trouble. However, being
superstitious and in order
to preserve our fragile
confidence we elected not
to count our score until
after the game was finished.
The other partnership were
not doing so well and spent
the short break between
nines chatting and comparing
with other groups.
Come
the 10th, Jim and Jane -
Par! Come the 11th, Jim's
hook was looking like joining
us and we scrambled for
a bogey. "Remember, NO PAYBACKS!"
Jim off the 12th, hooked
behind some trees, Janes
cannoned off a tree into
the rough on the right,
Jim topped his further into
the rough and between 2
boulders, Janes hit a boulder
and went backwards into
a cleared area. Phew, a
clear shot for Jim.
"Payback
time's is over mate! We
can see the green, it's
a Par 4, we get 2 shots
here! You put it on the
green and I'll pop it in
the hole for 6." Jim lined
up and concentrated us right
into a creek bed and an
unplayable lie. Our competitors
had taken their second shot
somewhere during the chaos
and their looks of disbelief
had changed to howls of
laughter. By the time we
had finally exhausted our
possibilities and declared
an unplayable lie we were
witness to something I had
never seen before. And,
come to think of it, never
since.
Our
competitors were rolling
on the fairway convulsed
with laughter. My caddy
had joined them and Jim
and I looked as if we'd
just gone through a 5km
Full Pack training run.
We sacked the caddy, who
wanted to stay behind anyway
so she could retrace our
shots for the diagram she
wanted to put up in the
clubhouse. My loving daughter!
To
save putting me, and you,
though all the agony again
I just mention that we reached
the green in 10 and finished
up with a glorious, riotous
12 on the Par 4, 12th. AND
WE LOST THE CHAMPIONSHIP
BY 2 STROKES - waaaaaahh!
This
story in memory of my old
golfing partner in crime,
Jim, who is now in Golfers
Heaven.
Jane
of Moruya
Outback
Golf
My
mind wanders back to when
I first started playing
golf in Gove, NT, where
buffaloes roamed the course
and engaged in antisocial
activities on the fourth
green.
A
buffalo fight is not an
activity looked upon with
much favour by greenkeepers
and players, there is much
pawing and snorting involved.
Admittedly not too dissimilar
to some players we see but
with markedly more results
seen on the grass.
Among
the other interesting creatures
which made their home on
the course were green tree
snakes, paper wasps (guaranteed
to make the player who brushed
against the Hornet Home
Tree look like great opposition
for Cathy freeman)
I
digress, most notable was
my encounter with the newcomer
to the environs who caused
me a considerable fine,
ie, to shout the bar after
the competition for swearing
on the course, said fine
being in addition to the
fearful ribbing I got for
"making up a good story".
No-one,
I repeat - no-one, believed
that my slice into the swampy
hazard on the 7th put my
ball to rest right beside
an 8' (?2.5m) crocodile
lying in the deep, deep
grass. I nearly stepped
on the expletive thing and,
in the shock of the moment
forgot that I was a lady!
The croc and I simultaneously
took off at great speed
in opposite directions as
I involuntarily let fly
with a marginally more than
moderate expletive.
It
was a Stableford comp, so
I left the ball (a NEW ball)
where it lay and walked
the rest of the hole. Lost,
one new ball, my composure,
my reputation, the hole
and the contents of my purse
over the bar. Later in the
week players who had given
me a hard time admitted
that the croc I encountered
"could possibly" be the
one they all saw making
it's way across the bridge
over the creek, but the
ribbing never ended - chuckle..........
.
Jane
from Eurobodalla
My
First Day
On
my very first club golf
day all nervous, I managed
to play a very ordinary
round of golf with people
I didn't know. You can imagine
the rate my heart was pumping
and the shots that were
"played"but still I came
through! I tried to pick
up my ball and put it back
on the tee after a 2" "drive"
etc, etc, much to my playing
partners horror. I really
gave her a workout! We finished
our round, and I had a lovely
lunch with the ladies feeling
that I had at least got
over the first hurdle.
The
following week I was brave
enough to venture out and
try again. I didn't play
with the same ladies as
the week before (lucky for
them) but I did join up
with them for lunch though.
which I thought was really
nice. Alas I was wrong!
I was confronted by a very
irate lady informing me
that I was the one that
made her forget to sign
her card the week before.
She said she was too busy
looking after me and that
it was all my fault. You
can imagine how awful I
felt, so I apologised profusely.
I
went home and told my "golfing
husband" all about it. His
reply - Stupid old fool,
everyone knows that it's
there own responsibility
for their card. Thank god
for a husband to make you
feel better! .
Leeanne
of Strathmore
NB
from Leeanne : "I have
only been playing golf for
a year and a half which
is not too long is it. My
handicap started at 45,
and is now 23. I still have
a long way to go,but at
my age (45) I don't know
whether there is much room
for improvement ! "
Times
Have Changed.
After
watching the ladies pro golf on TV and admiring the way the young girls
were dressed it made me realise what changes had occured since I started
to play nearly 40 year ago. My first attempt was at the local 9 hole club
with sand greens.
After
a few games I decided I was going to really like this sport and thought
I should get some clubs and proper shoes. I had already had many instructions
on dress from the club ladies- No slacks or shorts allowed. I drove to
the nearest course with a pro shop(a round trip of 60 miles) and bought
a really nice pair of comfortable white golf shoes.
All
excited I arrived at golf the next day. Some of the ladies were in the
carpark and I rushed to show them my new shoes. The were all shocked that
I had bought white shoes! I was told only Silver Players could wear white
shoes! When I asked why I was told how embarassing it would be to see
a white shoed person on the tee and that person could hardly hit a ball!
No no no I must drive back to town and change the shoes.
Would
you believe I did just that and got a pair of brown shoes that always
gave me blisters. I was very pleased that I reduced my handicap to 18
fairly quickly and was able to legally have some white shoes.
Eleanor
of Balgownie
Note
from
Eleanor - The club I started at was in Killarney,in Qld,a 9 hole sand
green course looked after by the local farmers. Only 8 lady members. I
bought my WHITE shoes at Warwick Golf Club and I now belong to Wollongong
Golf Club. This is a very good links course and we usually have about
80 ladies play each Thursday.
Its
Just a Game !!!!
Recently
played in a corporate golf
day - day was cloudy and
drizzly, I couldn't get
off the tee with a half
decent shot - my husband
was playing below his form.
Our partners were American
and rather quiet but playing
well.
During
the round they mentioned
that they were from New
York. They were in New York
on Sept. 12 and had lost
2 friends on that day.
Somehow
our golf and how we were
playing seemed rathery irrelevant
- We had a lovely day, great
company during the game
and at the 19th hole and
left us with a feeling that
playing a sport like golf
can be a great leveller
and really help to keep
things in perspective.
Marnie
of Mona Vale
Touched
by an Angel
Yesterday
morning I received a rather distressed phone call from my golfing friend,
Ann.
Her
problem? Apparently she had caused a tear in her brand new lounge and
was really worried about her husband's reaction when he discovered the
truth. "What do you mean, the truth?" I asked. "I was practising my golf
swing." I couldn't believe my ears - Murray hates golf!! When I said as
much to Ann, she explained that she had received a new five iron from
her daughter for Mothers' Day and she couldn't wait to use it. Knowing
that Ann's usual set of clubs had been collected over time from one person/place
or another, I could appreciate her excitement over a brand new club, but
why did she practise indoors?
For
Ann the answer was simple: rain that morning prevented her playing at
the Club, so she dug out some plastic practice balls, pulled the lounge
room curtains together for a catching net, made sure she was clear of
the lights and started swinging with the new iron. Wonderful feeling!
Unfortunately
fantasy took over, and, as Laura Davies and Karrie Webb looked on, Ann
hit a brilliant shot to the green!! Well, that's what she thought. The
"thwack" of club hitting lounge brought her quickly back to reality.
Ann
and I talked about her options: suicide!, running away from home!, divorce!
But finally it was decided that she should seek advice from the salesman
at the store where they has purchased the lounge.
Later
that day an ecstatic Ann phoned to tell me that a "wonderful" salesman
(a self-confessed golf fanatic) had called at the house carrying with
him the book of sample materials that she and Murray had examined for
their choice of the lounge. Then Ann witnessed a miracle: the salesman
extracted the material sample and used it to repair the tear. Result?
A brand new (looking)) lounge.
But
best of all, the salesman promised he would tell nobody, so Murray did
not have to know. Phew, what a relief!!! .
June
of Wombarra
Finders
Keepers
On
the first hole at Jerilderie Golf Club there is an out of bounds to the
right which follows the main Newell Highway. There is a service station
on the other side of the road where the buses stop. On this certain day
one of the ladies hit off the first tee with a new ball, no problem here,
but her second shot went to the right heading for the out of bounds, a
bus going to Wagga was parked and had its doors open the ball bounced
up the stairs and into the bus, finishing up at the back of the bus. Unfortunatly
for our golfer the bus driver would not give her back her ball as he kept
it as a finders keepers, our golfer ended up with a very high score as
she couldn't hit a ball straight after that and ended up going out of
bounds again twice before putting out(it is only a par 4 hole).
Dianne
of Jerilderie
The
Last Laugh
When
I was younger a group of my friends were playing nine holes of golf on
the Mid North Coast. We had all played reasonably regularly but none of
us had handicaps. Being a Social round we would chat and carry on. My
friend Garry hit his 3rd tea shot into light rough. (Not the best shot
of the day but there weren't too many good ones). Any way Garry pulled
out a fairway wood for his second shot and crcked the ball only to see
the head of the wood fly off the shaft and land many meters away. Well
we were all laughing so loudly it hurt, none more than my mate Scott,
who was holding his side as the laughter was hurting so much. At this
moment I turned to Scott and said "What are you laughing at Boof? that
was your 3 wood!" Well those tears of laughter soon turned to tears of
disbelief and sadness as he realised Garry was using his favourite club,
one Garry had borrowed from him earlier in the round. Soon everyone but
Scott was rolling on the grass laughing. While Scott was contemplating
life without his favourite club. This took place some 17 years ago and
I still remember that look on his face. It was priceless. This is also
possibly why courses insist on players having their own set of clubs to
play with.
David
from Newcastle
Living
Lie
We
had just moved into a golf community in Estero, Florida and I was playing
with my new neighbor, Carmel, on the 10th hole at Country Creek Golf Course
on a hole where you had to carry the ball over water to get to the green.
I hit my ball and could see it cleared the water and it looked as though
it was pluged on the other side of the water in mud. Carmel hit her shot
and we got into the cart and I was happy that at least I had cleared the
water and could hit it and possibly get mud on me but nevertheless was
not incurring a stroke. As we were moving down the cart path Carmel said
to me your ball is rolling into the water. That was impossible it was
pluged in to the mud. Low and behold as I looked up I could see that I
had hit my ball and it landed on a turtle's shell it was embedded in it's
shell and as the turtle entered the water carrying my golf ball Carmel
and I sat there amazed, shocked and laughing all at the same time that
a golf ball could crack a turtles shell. And although it didn't seem injured
we hoped it was fine and that I never hit another turtle again. When I
went back to the tee to hit my 3rd shot we could not stop laughing and
watching the turtle as it made its way to the other side of the water.
My third shot landed on the green and we finished that hole but what an
experience that was.
Diane
of Estero, Florida, Lee County
Designated
Driver
A recent
game at Blackheath Golf Club on a rainy afternoon left me sceptical of
a male’s ability to handle a runaway golf cart. We were going down a wet
hill on the 18th fairway when I noticed a bump ahead and warned my partner
(a male) of the upcoming hazard. He instantly hit the breaks and we went
into a four wheel slide down the hill. As we slid, we began to spin. Sometime
during this commotion the driver decided to abandoned ship! Claiming that
his tactic was to jump out and grab the cart. But when I looked back as
the cart was spinning uncontrollably down the hill, he was lying on the
grass. Somehow I managed to get over to the drivers side, grab the wheel
and apply the break and bring the cart safely to a halt. It now goes without
saying that I am the designated driver whenever we play together!
Sarah
from Artarmon
Some
people will do anything to win a match!!
I was
playing an inter-club pennant match and was seven down by the ninth! Started
again on the tenth and had a par, then a birdie and two more pars. Things
were looking up and on the next hole had a nice drive and a great second
shot -onto the green! At that time I was a smoker(have since given up)
and I thought a shot like that deserves a cigarette! As I was lighting
the ciggie my motorised buggy started to move forward - down the hill.
"It will stop at the bottom"I thought to my self-but no it began to run
sideways, with me and my opponent in hot pursuit. Too late. It trundled
in to the hazard and by the time we got there it was sinking and sounding-glug,glug,glug.
We eventually got everthing out, emptied the water out of the bag and
then realised the battery was no where to be seen. More scrambling in
the water and recovered it. Carried on with the game and finished square.
Comment from my opponent-"Some people will do anything to win a match!!
Eleanor
of Balgownie
THE RUNAWAY
Was
recently given by my family a motorized buggy to make my life a little
more easy on the hilly courses. Fell in love with "Molly" as I call her,
and love the ease of just walking around and not huffing and puffing before
hitting a shot. However, modern technology won out last Thursday when
I stopped "Molly", turned to hit my ball, and heard the other ladies screaming
at me to grab Molly as she had run away. I took chase but was too late
and she ended up clubs down in a very merky, weedy lake. I must admit
it was rather amusing until I remembered that my car keys, mobile phone
& wallet were in the front pocket. With the help of my friends I waded
out (waist deep) and retrieved my gear. I'm sure I am not the only person
this has happened to - and it definately won't happen to me again as I
will face Molly to open spaces whenever I stop in future. I did continue
on with my game(as we were on the 18th hole) and actually broke my handicap.
Moral of the story is: "A bad day's Golf is still better than a good day's
work".
A soggy
but happy Marnie from Mona Vale.
The
Champion
Last
week I joined a group of Ladies and ventured down to Corowa for the Riverina
Championships. After enjoying several glasses of red wine during wonderful
dinners I was in true form to win! win!win! my handicap dropped from 28
to 25 and I became a Champion golfer of the Bronze division. I have been
playing golf for 4 years and this event was the most rewarding and exciting
time of my golfing career. Of course our handicapper just had to say when
she heard of the excitement that I had to do it at our own home town now
as well. Well I am always trying, but it seems that I do best when away,
maybe the fun of meeting new friends in golf have something to do with
that.
Yvonne
of Griffith
Husbands
Standard Treatment
I recently
played in a pennants match at a club which sported signs warning players
"Caution - Kangaroos on the golf course are wild and could be dangerous
if approached". At one stage in our match as my opponent, Laurel and I
hit our second shots down a par 5 fairway, her ball curved far off to
the right, ending up in the middle of a group of kangaroos. The creatures
were lolling around in the sun, under the watchful eye of a very large
'roo. Distance directed I hit the next shot first and having done so I
turned to see Laurel standing cap in hand in front of the "big fella"
apparently talking to him. The next thing, she took a club from her bag,
walked into the centre of the group and hit her ball towards the green.
When Laurel eventually joined me I complimented her on her daring. Her
reply? "It wasn't difficult. I pretended he was my husband. I admitted
I was a fool hitting such a wayward shot - and then talked him into believing
that my only chance of success depended on his generosity. Flattery -
it works every time!!".
June
of Wombarra
HIT
BY THE LOVE BALL
I
Recently played 18 holes with a single friend of mine and it turned out
to be a game which could change her life! Teeing off on the 17 hole she
hit a very wayward 1 wood! It hurtled to the left and before we had a
chance to call "FORE" it collected a gent on the next fairway in the back
of the head with much gusto. Horrified, we hurried to his aid as he sat
in a daze on the fairway!! My friend was very apologetic and we got him
a drink and offered to go back to the clubhouse for a cart. He managed
to get up and said he would walk back to the club house as he felt a little
dizzy!! As we continued our game my friend commented that he was a bit
of a spunk and she hoped she hadn't hurt him too badly (particularly his
gorgeous face). When we returned to the club house our casualty was having
a drink - supposedly to recover - we joined him, bought him a drink and
again apologised most eagerly. 2 hours later I left my friend and her
wounded acquaintance and went home. I discovered two weeks later that
she has seen him every day since and is HOPLESSLY IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!! Seems
he was a bit of a 'knock out'.
Marnie
of Mona Vale
Starting
Over
I
had been a golfer's widow for 28 years when my youngest child, then 18
announced that now that she was leaving the nest I could finally make
my dream come true, and start playing golf. My parents were very good
at golf while I was a child and being the eldest I had to look after the
younger children while they played each weekend. I decided not to play
until my children had grown up and away before I decided it was "my turn".
My husband taught me to play before we started to have children, but as
soon I got really interested I became pregnant twice, so I gave up until
28 years later. Ironically though it was not to be a game I was to play
with my husband as we divorsed and I was to find myself entering into
a new life full of fun and interestering trips with girlfriends which
took us away on weekends on buses. It certaintly is a new life one I recommend
to all women, divorsed or not!!
Yvonne
from Griffith
A
self explanitory sign from
a Hong Kong golf club.
Lean
of Chatswood
1
a 6 !!!
True
Story...On Friday 1st September
I was playing in my regular
9th hole competition at
Cammeray Golf Club, I got
to the 9th (par 3) I must
get a par to make up for
a couple of wayward holes,
and to my great delight
I got a hole-in-one (hit
the green and rolled into
the hole), there was much
excitment from fellow players
and my Family (all golfers).
On Tuesday 5th September,
I was playing in my regular
18 hole competition, walking
around the course enjoying
the congratulations from
other players, got up to
the 12th (par 3), you've
probably guess it I got
another hole-in-one (hit
the flagstick and straight
into the hole). Disbelief,
excitment, I was not sure
how to react. My family
(males) were very excited
about the 1st hole-in-one
but second is a little harder
for them to take! I am quietly
feeling very happy with
myself 1 a 6 !!!
Christine
of Mosman
Was
It Me ?
My
husband and I, along with a couple of friends, recently spent a great
day in the Blue Mountains. We followed a round of golf with a delicious
meal at a quaint Swiss restaurant in Katoomba. The meals were very large
so all four of us went on a guilt trip (walk) to Echo Point. I was tempted
to give a cooeee to test out the echo. However there were too many people
nearby and I was too shy to try. We returned to the car and drove to the
nearby Sublime Point at Leura. The 360 degree views were breathtaking.
Also, there was no-one around. A perfect opportunity to try my cooeee!!
I gave it my loudest and most melodious effort. Sure enough, two seconds
later came back the cooee. My husband and friends were appropriately impressed
but I wasn't 100% sure that the echo was me. I immediately decided to
do a scientific test. I yelled in my loudest voice "Was that MEEEEEE?".
Two seconds later came the echo "NOOOOO". The scenario was too funny to
be embarrasing as I joined the other three in uncontrolled laughter. I
have retold the story a few times since that day and one of my friends
suggests that the female joker (in the Jamison Valley somewhere) could
just as easily have said "YEEEES".
Juta of Oatley
Hole
In One
Belinda
was standing nervously on the practice putting green ready to hit off
in her very first grade game. She was soon to learn why some call it pennants
(penance). A stray ball from the 18th hit her in the temple and she dies
immediately. The next thing she sees is St.Peter at the pearly gates.
He apologises that her first grade game was cut short but he could try
to make it up to her. St.Peter explains that the Heavenly Golf Course
has got two well known individuals about to hit off and she was quite
welcome to join them. Belinda arrives at the first tee and meets Moses
and Jesus Christ. They are about to tee off when an old fellow shuffles
towards the tee. Belinda hears Moses imploring Jesus to hit off quickly
as he doesn't like playing with the old fellow. Jesus reassures him that
it will be OK this time. It is agreed that, as Belinda had missed her
matchplay opportunity on earth, they should play skins, off the stick.
And so, all bets are placed. The first is a difficult par 3 with water
on the left hand side. Belinda plays a beautiful shot to the middle of
the green, almost a hole in one. (This IS heaven she thinks). Jesus, Moses
and the old fellow all hook their shots into the water. They all go down
to the edge of the green and hazard. Jesus walks on top of the water,
reaches underwater for his ball and, not wanting to take any advantage,
drops on the edge of the hazard for a one shot penalty. He plays a miraculous
shot into the hole for a PAR. While the others are still searching for
their balls, Belinda taps in for her BIRDIE. Surely a clear win! As Belinda
turns around she sees Moses parting the waters. He walks out to his ball
and plays an unbelievable shot into the hole. A BIRDIE. Belinda assures
herself that, in such company, she is doing well to halve the hole. At
least she didn't lose the hole. Just then, the old fellow yells "Wait
a minute". They see a huge trout swimming on the edge of the water with
his golf ball in its mouth. It swims to the water's edge, spits the ball
high into the air, onto the green and into the hole. A HOLE IN ONE!!!!!
Belinda hears Moses say to Jesus, "That's another reason I hate playing
with your old man !!!"
From
Barbara of North Rocks
First
Lesson
Although
it was Gary's first day as the new pro, his reputation as a gigolo had
preceded him by weeks. Jane, happily married and stunningly beautiful
entered the pro shop to buy one golf ball. "How much for the Tour Softs?"
she asked. "Normally $4 each but they're on special today for only one
kiss for three" he said. "In that case I'll take half a dozen" said Jane.
"My dad here (pointing to her craggy-faced father who had just joined
her) will settle the account" replied Jane as she waltzed out with the
new balls. Gary had RECEIVED his first lesson instead of giving one!!!!
Adele
of Wentworthville
Mere
males!!!
We
are fortunate to be back onto the lovely Cumberland Golf Course in Sydney's
west. In the passing parade of golfers we have been witness to quite a
few unusual events. The most memorable event was when a couple of beginners
were going past with their pro shop hired buggies and clubs.
One
fellow was on the far side of the fairway while the other was next to
our fence but right next to a tall thin gum tree. He yelled to his mate
"Do you have to play it where it is ?". "Of course came the reply". The
fellow proceeded to take an allmighty swipe at the ball but only converted
the iron shaft into a half moon shape. The ball had not budged. Undeterred
and still following his mate's instructions, he re-equipped himself with
a new iron from the bag. (I know golfers try to achieve a repetitive golf
swing but.....) The second swing was an exact replica of the first...with
similar results except that the head of this iron swung like a pendulum
as he inspected his handywork. I thought that surely he would now kick
or throw the ball away from the tree, but no, he reached in for his third
weapon of destruction. I couldn't hold back any longer. I raced outside
to let him know that he could drop away for only a shot penalty.
He
thanked me for the info and proceeded to abuse his mate for giving him
a bum steer and costing him extra shots. I heard no mention of club damage
and often wondered about the look on the face of whoever hired that set
the next day. Mere males!!!
Louise
from Cumberland Golf Club
A
Birdie when its not a Birdie
My
heart missed a beat when I approached that hole. Its been a few weeks
now but the memory is still clear when I visit this golf couse again.
For that was the hole where I did my big swing only to see it smack, bang
on to a little duckling at the edge of the
pond. It was still twitching when my partner and I ran towards it. We
looked around not knowing what to do next, and then saw a truck driving
slowly down the path. We waved madly at the groundsman to stop. He came
down to have a look at the injured duckling and told us to go on.
As we were leaving the hole, we could see the groundsman returning to
the duckling with a shovel in his hand !! So it was... that I got a "birdie"
at the expense of a fatal shot at a fairly new born duckling. Tell me
that this is not uncommon with other players - only so I can feel slighly
less guilty !!?
Sue
from Middle Cove
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